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How To Avoid Fighting With Yourself (

Phil Graham Squat

I work with a lot of upcoming personal trainers and individuals who struggle with their appearance. Safe to say every week without fail my attention is drawn to at least once case of extreme envy or frustration. The trainers usually end up talking about other trainers and the gym goers talk about other gym goers.

As a coach, my duty of care often goes beyond nutrition and training. I’m a firm believer that mindset is everything when it comes to achieving success,  with your health, physique and fitness business.

This short article provides an insight into what envy is, the difference between envy and jealousy and how I deal personally with the soul destroying emotion of ‘envy’.

Grab a pen….

Three Scenarios – Which would annoy you the most?

A) You find out your friend’s salary increases. Yours doesn’t.

B) Both your salaries stay the same.

C) Both of your salaries are cut (Just a little)

If you answered A, don’t worry, most people do. You’re just another victim of the green-eyed monster….

Let’s face it, we’ve all felt envy at some stage in our lives. This creates a chain of irrational behaviour. You refuse to help them any longer, you turn your nose up any chance you get, you fail to defend, you sabotage their plans & perhaps even scream the word w****er into yourself when their pictures flash up on FB. You also secretly rejoice when they mess up (break a leg, get ill, go bankrupt etc.)

Out of all the emotions we have envy is quite possibly the easiest to switch off. In contrast to Fear, Sadness or Anger.

There is nothing to be gained from feeling envy but self-harm.

Envy is the utmost form of flattery.

There is obviously something there, you don’t have. Right?

Many things can be tied to envy. Ownership (Money), beauty, talent, public status, strength and popularity.

People often confuse envy with jealousy because the physical reaction feels the same.

The Difference Between Envy and Jealousy?

Envy involves a ‘thing’.

Jealousy is the behaviour of the third person. Sandra is jealous of Claire who got a compliment from a good looking man in the gym.

Funny, when it comes to envy we direct our resentments toward people who are similar to us. This includes Age, Job, Residence etc but not those from 10 years ago or those that live in a different country.

As a Fitness Professional. I don’t envy a musician, horse rider or restaurant owner but other Fitness professionals.

Just like one boxer player would envy another boxer, An actor would envy another or more successful actor. CEO’s rival/envy other bigger CEO’s. etc..

How Can I Beat Envy?

I’ve personally come up with 4 practical solutions to deal with envy.

Give these a go a let me know how you get on. I hope they are as valuable to you as they have been for me.

1. Stop Comparing Yourself  To Others.

It’s their life, leave them be. You’d be surprised at the struggles some people face.

2. You’re Not Special

Instead of justifying why you aren’t doing well, bite the bullet & get to work.

Success leaves clues,go figure.

3. You Aren’t Entitled To Anything

Except free refills at Nando’s.

Hard graft, consistency & patience are seriously lacking nowadays.

Nothing comes ‘that easy’

Work for it.

4. Create A Niche

Where are you best?

It doesn’t matter how small, the main goal is you are the master.

Bottom Line

If your neighbour does well or affords something nice, congratulate him.

Remember, he hasn’t taken anything away from you.

Embrace envy, identify what particular traits you’re envious of in other people and ask yourself a deep honest why ?

Trust me, you’ll learn a lot of home truths.